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| Well...the good news is that I have a job. I'll be working close to home with adolescent girls with mental disorders who have been, for one reason or another, court ordered into a group home. That's the good news. It will be fantastic experience. It will look good to grad schools. It will be a paycheck.
Now for the bad news. We'll start with the job-related bad news. The pay is crap. I'll be getting paid an hourly wage that makes me wonder why I got a degree. It's shift work, and since it's a live-in place for these girls, that means someone has to be there days, nights, weekends, holidays, etc. Goodbye social life! Not that it really matters at this point...my friends around here have gone back to school, except for Mindy, who will be at least as busy as me, and certainly our schedules will never coincide. On top of that Micah got a job in Florida. So, at least there will be no distractions. But, due to my crappy schedule, seeing each other is going to be particularly difficult (I can almost hear my mom jump for joy). We're staying together for now (sorry, mom). We'll see. I'll also be staying in my house for now, as long as things remain tolerable. I really hope to be able to pay off the credit card debt and save a little money for next year...wherever I end up. Which, by the way, is so up in the air right now it makes me cringe. I'm not prepared to go into the details at this point, at least not in such a public sphere.
This is what I know about the whole grad school thing: I really want to find a school that allows me to finish in a year and a half. This is pretty tricky considering that most schools only offer a limited variety of classes over the summer, and also you're usually expected to do four full semesters of field work. I have found one school that offers a full 12 week semester over the summer, which would be ideal. The fieldwork thing also makes it pretty obvious that I probably won't be able to have a part time job. Twenty hours of fieldwork, plus about four classes, plus the homework...I just don't think a job will be feasible on top of that. Hence the desire to finish in a year and a half. I figure it will cut back at least a little on the debt I'm putting myself in. Also, I don't want to take the GRE's. Most schools don't require them, and I don't feel bad disregarding the schools that do. I feel good about my decision to take time off again, for awhile there I was kicking myself. I really feel like I know what I want much more than I did last time I was looking at schools. Last time I just found a list of rankings and pulled schools out randomly, mostly based on where they were located.
Wow, that was boring. Sorry. | | |
| Ohhh, Xanga...you've missed me, haven't you?
So, I graduated college. Two and a half months ago. And I don't have a job. My life is kind of a mess. I'm at home with my parents, which has been both a blessing and a curse. It's been a blessing because it has afforded me the time to look for a job I actually want and that will be beneficial for me. Without this luxury I would have had to find a job immediately that would have most likely been mediocre at best. The curse part is more complicated. My parents are great. Seriously, they are. However, I'm 22 years old. I am an adult and I am used to living an independent life. I'm not accustomed to reporting to anyone, and I'm especially not accustomed to having a second opinion on my choices (whether they are voiced or not, they're definitely made known). They will never tell me I cannot or even should not do something. There are just certain things that I know if I do, I will get the disapproving voice. I hate the disapproving voice. I want to scream, "I am an adult! An ADULT! Old enough to make my own choices!!" But then I remember that I am totally financially dependent on them, living in their house, eating their food, and not living the life of an adult and thus have no right to demand, well...anything.
My stress level is through the roof. I am an emotional time bomb. Most of my friends are inaccessable most of the time. I feel stranded. Stuck. But here's the good news. I have an interview on Monday. All I want is a job, a purpose, and some cash. Let's hope. Let's also hope they appreciate my friends that I'm using as references. I refuse to stress about it anymore.
I miss college. I want to sit on the futon in GY2 on Sunday morning going over our weekends while eating greasy food and watching stupid television. I want there to be 4 best friends in my apartment and a boyfriend down the hall. I want to talk about one best lovers and being over it. I want to close down the G-Man and know 80% of the people there with me.
In other news, there are scary noises in/around my house and that is not what I want.
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| I know, I know...it's been forever, so here it is finally, the hightly anticipated (and also probably highly disjointed) update.
Since I last wrote it seems as though one of two things has been happening in the lives of everyone around me. Either everything is coming together, or somehting has gone to shit. People have gotten accepted into grad school, real life jobs have been acquired, but then there's the other side of things. There have been at least moderately devistating break-ups, grad school rejections, and health problems. All the while I've been waiting for something to fall apart in my own life. Nothing has. Yet. Though, sometimes I think I'm trying to sabatoge my life just so I can say, "see, I told you so" and not have to be surprised when things fall apart while I have my guard down.
Spring Break. Oh man. So good. The weather was perfect, the beach was beautiful, the drinks kept flowing, and I couldn't have asked for better company. Such a good group of people! It was definitely worth every penny I spent. The travel was mostly uneventful (except for when DJ locked his keys in his trunk when we were trying to drive back to school. His car was too smart for AAA to break into. Let's be honest, that's what you get for driving a luxury vehicle. MAYBE you should drive a mediocre car that doesn't even have power locks like I do....) I have a pretty sweet tan (though it's slowly but surely peeling off), and for once I came back after a break feeling rested.
The love of my life, Miss Regan Hiatt, came to Dickinson for Thursday and Friday night. I'm obsessed with her, it's official. We had an excellent time, and closed down GMan both nights. So right. We drank wine spritzers and took an excessive amount of pictures (some appropriate, some less so), in true Regan/Laura style. I'm planning a trip down to see her, I hope at the beginning of April.
I've had a headache that I can't seem to shake for 2 days straight. F that.
And finally, my new motto in life - I'm over it (thanks, friends, for helping me acquire said motto). For example:
Girls who are mediocre in every way; I'm over it.
Pretending I like people just because we have mutual friends; I'm over it.
Being stressed about my future; I'm over it.
Leaving the bar before it closes; I'm over it.
People who expect everything to change to accomadate them: I'm over it.
Judgemental and/or self-centered people; I'm over it.
Being sober on weeknights; I'm over it.
"I've a lack of information
I've had a loss of perspective
I've had a little bit to drink
and it's making me think
that I could jump ship and swim
that the ocean would hold me
there's got to be more than this boat I'm in" | | |
| It's Valentine's Day. That one, singular day of the year that manages to make people totally insane in one way or another. I've had my fair share of bitterness with this holiday (which may be linked to the fact that for the past 2 years I've been recently broken up come Valentine's Day). While I acknowledge that this year is different for a variety of reasons (namely, I have plans tonight that do not include my single girlfriends and a large quantity of alcohol), I have to say...it's time to get over it. Whether Valentine's Day makes you swoon and temporarily lose all power of logical judgement causing you to spend $40 on a dozen red roses and you run around wearing red/pink and passing out Hershey's kisses, or if you slump around feeling sorry for yourself, I say to you...get over it.
Instead of losing touch with reality today, why don't you take a few minutes to appreciate all the people in your life that are worth loving? And maybe use today as a reminder of that instead of going nuts. For the most part, I firmly protest needing a holiday to tell people that you love them, but this year instead of bitching about it I'm going to embrace it. I don't mean that I'm turning mushy on you, but I bought some flowers for my roomies, and a bottle of wine for us to celebrate us, because lets be honest...they're pretty much the loves of my life.
(Yeah, I know, easy for me to say...I have a date tonight) | | |
| Spring Break 2K6, here we come.
Ocean Bavaro Beach Resort and Spa, Punta Cana, Dominican Republic
hoooooray!!
Go ahead, be jealous.
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